Snot. You can't win.

Stefism #15 Before I had kids, if I saw a toddler with snot streaming down his face onto his upper lip, I always gave his parents a Look and thought, “Just wipe the kid’s nose already!” Then I had kids.

I swear the snot gets worse with each kid. By the time you get to your fifth child, just expect a constant stream from the day he is born until he is about three. Then you will be pleasantly surprised on those rare days when his snot well dries up, instead of endlessly frustrated by his leaky nose. Happiness in life really just comes down to expectations, right?

So to sum up, yes, I know my son’s face is covered in snot. Yes, I know he is licking it up every time he eats. Yes, I know he is wiping it across his cheek with the back of his hand. Yes, I know he is wiping it across the couch as he tries to climb on. Yes, I know it smears across my shirt every time he rests his head on my shoulder. Does this make me want to vomit? Yes. But sadly, in the war of Me vs. Snot, I just can’t win.