Pregnant Glow

Stefism # 23 I always looked forward to that "pregnant glow" that everyone talks about. What I didn't realize is that they were talking about the shine of the toilet reflecting off my face.

If you haven’t read my other posts about pregnancy, you may not yet understand my pure hatred of it. My youngest child is currently 2 ½, and I am so happy to finally be done being pregnant. I hate every second of being pregnant and don’t even know how I survived it 5 times. (Yes I do. I love babies. It’s a problem.)

Anyway, I get sick. Like give me the Zofran or I will be throwing up eight times a day sick. So while I am pregnant, the toilet and I are friends. BFFs, even. Which is just gross. And instead of walking around with a “happy glow,” I sport a look of death. So glad that’s over.

 

Things that suck

Stefism #2: If you thought pregnancy, vacuums, and nursing babies had nothing in common, you'd be wrong. They all suck.

Now, let’s dissect this. We all know why vacuums and babies suck – to pick up dirt and guzzle milk. Most of the time, that is. Unless of course your vacuum explodes and spews dust-covered hairy Cheerios all over the floor. Or your baby screams incessantly for a reason no one can figure out. But I digress. ;)

Why does pregnancy, the miraculous creation of new life, suck? For oh-so-many reasons. I mean, where to even begin? I could make a list, but we’d be here all day. So I’ve decided to cut it down to my top three reasons pregnancy sucks.

1.     Throwing up

2.     Vomiting

3.     Retching

Shoot, I just can’t get past that.

What are your top three reasons? And if you are one of those people that loves being pregnant, please spare us sufferers, and just keep silent on this one.