Stefism # 23 I always looked forward to that "pregnant glow" that everyone talks about. What I didn't realize is that they were talking about the shine of the toilet reflecting off my face.
Stefism # 18 You know how strangers like to come up to you and rub your pregnant belly? Well, I like to go up to men that look pregnant, rub their bellies, and say, "Awe, I just love fat bellies."
Stefism #2: If you thought pregnancy, vacuums, and nursing babies had nothing in common, you'd be wrong. They all suck.
Now, let’s dissect this. We all know why vacuums and babies suck – to pick up dirt and guzzle milk. Most of the time, that is. Unless of course your vacuum explodes and spews dust-covered hairy Cheerios all over the floor. Or your baby screams incessantly for a reason no one can figure out. But I digress. ;)