My Inbox is Trying to Kill Me
It’s May. And with spring sports, school concerts, and end-of-year events, that means it’s the busiest month of the year.
Which means my inbox is trying to kill me.
When you have five kids, the number of emails you receive is absolutely absurd. It’s like a billion emails a day. No, I’m not exaggerating. A billion.
There are emails from the school, the nurse, the coach, the church, the orchestra teacher, the orthodontist, the PTA, the “snack sign-up” people, and the “We just thought you’d want to know about this totally unnecessary thing” brigade. It’s never-ending. Every time I open my inbox, I feel like I’m being buried alive under a pile of unread subject lines.
Meanwhile, I have friends who casually drop into conversation, “Oh, I never check my email.” Never?! How is that even possible? How do they have any idea what’s going on? Do they just show up at random places and hope their kid isn’t the only one wearing a Halloween costume in April?
I, on the other hand, feel like I spend half my life reading emails. Opening them. Responding to them. Adding events to the calendar. It’s like a full-time job I never applied for and don’t get paid to do.
“Oh, hey, can you come to this meeting?” “Don’t forget to send $5 for the class party!” “Please fill out this 20-page survey that we’ll absolutely never look at!”
And don’t even get me started on the “reminder” emails. Did you know your kid has a field trip tomorrow? Yes, because you’ve already emailed me about it seven times.
Honestly, my dream is to hire someone to read my emails for me. I’m serious. If I won the lottery tomorrow, forget fancy cars or a bigger house—I’d get myself a personal email assistant. They’d sift through the chaos, respond to the important stuff, and only tell me what I actually need to know.
“Soccer practice is canceled. Just FYI.” Perfect. That’s all I need.
Until then, it’s just me, drowning in my inbox, praying I didn’t miss something critical, like “Bring cupcakes for the whole school today.”
Wish me luck.